Posted on Leave a comment

How to make a Friends

My daughter asked me; ’Mummy, how do you make friends?’ All my children’s lives, I have been a very protective mother. And this has meant that when they went to Playgroup or Nursery if I wasn’t comfortable with a child’s parents my kids played with then the friendship would not go beyond the playground.  I left home at the age of 15 and growing up in a domestically violent home I knew what it was like not having anyone to protect me. Because of that I have always felt that one of my responsibilities as a mother is to protect my kids and make sure they are only around safe people.

6B0437B9-9A55-40A3-A0C1-4BBF9476F69C

This level of overprotection has meant that my kids didn’t  make friends on their own. I would speak to the parents for a few months and watch how my kids played with their children in the  playground, or I would ask the teacher to give me a report on how my children interacted with the other kids and then I would approach the parent(s) and ask if they would be okay to organize a play- date.

C844F548-0B09-459F-B778-46B09061C018

I don’t hang out with the parents of my children’s  friends, but I like to know that if there are issues about the friendship and they can’t resolve them, we, the parents, can ask the children what happened and try to help them resolve things without leaving any resentment. And my children have kept all their friends from Nursery, Primary school up through the years.

So when my eldest daughter was starting High School I told her ‘now you are on your own when it comes to making friends and try to keep them.’

So this is why she asked me the question  about making friends. I told her ‘ I know many people but not everyone is my friend.’  She said ‘Mum, I watch you when we go shopping and you start talking to a lady for a long time and then you tell her we can talk some more give me your number and I will text you.’

4BA8627B-D011-4E6C-A8EF-CD9C0B4940FE

I told her she was right. If I feel it is someone I want to get to know then I will give my number or take theirs, but sometimes we text and then we both find that we don’t have anything in common so they become my acquaintance. We text occasionally but we won’t hang out.

I gave her this example: I went clothes shopping one day and started chatting with this lady for  about half – an – hour and then suggested we exchange numbers. We contacted each other and we started to learn about one another. We learned that both of us  worked in similar industries  and then both chose to be stay- at- home mums. Then we started giving each other advice on relationships, kids etc. And then we became friends.

I told my daughter when she started at High School if there is a  girl you want be friends with but are not sure about then write your number down and give it to her. If she starts texting you that is a good sign and you can learn about each other.

So, she took my advice. She was scared but she did it. Since the lockdown, her friends have been calling her and texting her. There is only one rule😂😂. No boys are allowed to text or call her.

Friendship is a wonderful gift. Friends make us laugh and cry; friends can teach us how to share, compromise and handle some conflicts that your family can’t help you with. We learn from a very young age that talking is one of the great benefits of friendship. But what happens when friendship withers and fades? As we get older this seems to happen. Friends move away or they get into relationships that take them away.

It is a fact of life that even some very close friendships somehow come to an end. You may have experienced that sadness and sense of loss. If so, you can start afresh.

The key to making friends is talk to people: at work, the supermarket, anywhere. Preferably people of your own age, sexual orientation, life experiences etc.

But talk, and see what happens.

Don’t for get follow this blog🙂

Advertisements
Posted on Leave a comment

Do you know how to increase followers on WordPress? Part 2

This is the continuation of my earlier blog. 

Another thing that is recommended to increase followers is social media. I don’t have Facebook or Instagram. But I do have Twitter, LinkedIn and Pinterest. They are linked to my WordPress account so all my posts get shared there automatically.

When I was running my business, word- of- mouth was how I got my clients. I also went businesses networking. Meeting people face- to- face and doing voluntary jobs got me clients. As a single mum, I wanted to make effective use of my time. So when I met someone I would let them know about my business. I didn’t let shyness stop me. I would ask them if they could make use of my services. Some said ‘yes’ some said ‘no’.

I wasn’t shy, but I was authentic.
It is the same with social media. Building an authentic relationship with people will help you reduce the amount of hours you spend on social media.
You are not going to become viral in one article. It takes dedication, patience and authenticity.

Posted on 6 Comments

Do you know how to increase followers on WordPress? Part 1

With so many people blogging nowadays and so much amazing content out there, how can a new blogger on WordPress get followers?

I’m still learning and I would like to get more followers, but how? I like to write my own thoughts. Original content is important to me. From my recent research on blogging it seems you need to post regularly at first in order to be  successful. This worried me because I didn’t want my followers to be overwhelmed by my blogs in their inbox.

I thought about the problem and decided that the way forward was to post short content and publish it twice a week.

That way my followers were not snowed-under, and it gave me time to think about my blogs. A win-win situation. So, if you are new to blogging you might like to consider that.

The second piece of advice which I think is worthwhile is use your own images and photos. WordPress does have some free-to-use images,

and I have used them occasionally, but I think it is far more interesting for your followers if you use your own. That way your followers are tasting something of your life and experiences.

And then you have to decide the title of your post. This is a difficult one. You don’t have to decide straight away. Read through your post and think what title would reach out to me if this was some one else’s blog?  The answer will come to you. My answer usually comes when I have left the article for a while.

Subscribe to get part 2 of ‘ Do you know how to increase followers on WordPress?
Part 2’

Posted on 4 Comments

How to get people to comment on your blog posts.

I have had my domain name thelittleafricanbeautyroom.com for more than three years. I started my website because my clients asked for it, and they wanted a way to contact me easily as I am very well known for changing my contact numbers.

So, reluctantly, I got one. However, I didn’t do much with it. It was just there doing nothing. As most of you have learned from my recent posts, the coronavirus has caused me to close my beauty business. I specialised in waxing treatment. I made the difficult decision to close the business because I didn’t want my treatment room becoming a place of transmission for the virus. So, I closed the business and changed my phone number. I was disappointed, but one positive to come out of this is that I decided to develop my website by blogging.

Believe me, blogging is a lot harder than the various online tutorials say. You have to set up everything, write the blog  (and if you have writer’s block  it may be a few weeks before you publish anything.) And then when you have worked so hard on creating and writing that article or content that you think is such a masterpiece and you publish it, you have to get people to read it and leave comments to help you improve on your next post.

I found getting people to visit my website was hard. Then getting people to like my work was harder still, and then getting anyone to leave a comment was still harder.  But giving up isn’t an option for anyone who is interested in sharing valuable insights with the rest of the world.

So how do you get anyone to leave you a comment? Be honest with yourself and your readers. Ask them to give you an honest opinion so you can learn and make your writing better next time.

So I am asking you to leave your comments on my blogs. If you think a blog is a load of rubbish just say it. But if you like and appreciate it, say that as well. And please give your reasons for either viewpoint so I can learn.

 

Blogging For Dummies (For Dummies (Computer/Tech))`